Mind is All Around

Beberapa minggu yang lalu, gue ngerasa sangat amat gampang stress, stress karena gue ngerasa semuanya buntu, kalo bahasa kerennya gue kena mind block, somehow gue ngerasa sedang berada di depan dinding tebal yang susah banget ditembus.

Gue merasa sedang berada di ambang titik jenuh, jenuh sama kerjaan dan jenuh sama rutinitas. Daya kreativitas yang udah menurun dan spontanitas yang entah udah berapa lama hilang, hal-hal tersebut membuat gue sangat frustasi. Gue butuh semangat, excitement dan motivasi yang baru, yang bisa bikin gue fokus ke depan.

Semua hal diatas bikin gue mikir, it’s really scary if you stop wanting something, when you starting stop caring about everything and realize how spirit, motivations and excitement will keep you alive.

Setiap orang memang berbeda, ada beberapa orang yang merasa tetap excited berada di zona aman yang sama selama bertahun-tahun, ada yang gak pernah betah berada pada satu zona dalam kurun waktu yang mungkin lebih sebentar. Gue bukan tipe pertama, gue tipe kedua, dan menurut gue, orang dengan tipe kedua, cepat ato lambat akan menghadapi konflik didalam hidupnya, ketika life priority berubah. That’s what happened to me, I am forced to be in the same zone when I changed my life priority.

Gue suka sirik melihat isi twitter adik-adik gue yang exciting dengan hal-hal baru dalam hidup mereka, kerjaan baru, teman baru, goal baru sampe dengan pacar baru.. I used to find it a little bit cheesy and too much (masak pacar baru aja di announce), but now, I just realized, hal-hal tersebut yang bikin mereka excite buat menjalani hari-hari kedepan. Sementara gue merasa, life excitement gue udah menurun, new experience semakin berkurang. Bless them who can enjoy every second in their life..! J

So I reset myself..! gue mulai mencari-cari sekitar 10 tahun yang lalu, hal apa yang bikin gue exciting, yang udah lama gak pernah gue lakuin ato pikirin lagi, result..?

Bought an oven..

Dulu, ketika gue masih sangat muda, gue sangat suka bikin kue, and believe it or not, I made cookies if I got depressed, cooking membuat gue merasa kreativitas dan kerja keras gue masih dihargai (karena pasti dimakan), appreciation makes us stronger and more confident.. J

Making scrap pictures

Masih ingat betapa bangganya dulu, waktu kita baru bisa bikin wallpaper untuk pertama kalinya, dengan mengumpulkan foto-foto kita dengan berbagai pose..? yup..! I made that couple days ago.. 😉 and no.. I won’t upload it here..

Called an old best friends

These days.. I can’t stand talking over phone more than 5 minutes.. while couple years ago, it could spend like an hour..

Making new journal

I threw away the old one, delete it, it’s so depressing..! so I made the new one.. J

Making an anonymous blog to free my mind and publish my writing

Couple years ago, I had to close my blog for some reason, one of them is said that my writing – implied to my way of thinking, is too damn off the boundaries. That caused me to close my blog and email account.. *pffiuuhh…

Now, I am not afraid to write anything because it will stay anonymously. And plus.. I could publish my writing without being embarrassed.. 😀

Sebenernya masih banyak lagi yang pengen gue lakuin, but it will go on progress. Sekarang gue masih dalam proses me reset hidup gue, I am starting from zero, I will see some small common things turn into something exciting.

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